Violence & Society

Sample Answer

Introduction

Violence in intimate relationships, commonly termed intimate partner violence (IPV), remains a pervasive yet frequently concealed phenomenon within societies globally. Despite the physical and psychological harm it causes, many women downplay or minimise their experiences of abuse, often acting as if nothing really happened. This essay explores the social, cultural, psychological, and structural factors that contribute to such minimisation. It critically examines how gender norms, fear of stigma, economic dependence, trauma, and inadequate institutional responses contribute to women’s silence and downplaying of violence in the intimate sphere.

The Nature of Intimate Partner Violence and Its Invisibility

IPV encompasses physical, emotional, sexual, and psychological abuse perpetrated by a current or former partner (WHO, 2013). Unlike public acts of violence, IPV occurs in private, often making it harder to detect and easier to dismiss. The private setting of the home renders violence less visible and, consequently, less acknowledged by society. As Dobash and Dobash (1979) argue, the domestic sphere has historically been regarded as a personal, rather than political, domain, reinforcing a culture of silence around intimate violence.

Gender Norms and Socialisation

One major reason women minimise IPV is the internalisation of gender norms that condition them to accept male dominance and to avoid confrontation. Feminist scholars such as Kelly (1988) argue that women are socialised to endure hardship and prioritise family stability, often at the expense of their well-being. The social construction of femininity often equates tolerance with virtue, and aggression with masculinity, resulting in a normalisation of male violence and female endurance.

Furthermore, societal myths about "real" abuse, such as the belief that abuse must involve extreme physical violence, can lead women to feel their experiences are not severe enough to be recognised or labelled as abuse (Stark, 2007). Emotional and psychological abuse, in particular, are frequently minimised or dismissed both by victims and society.

Shame, Stigma, and Fear of Judgement

Many women who experience IPV fear being judged, blamed, or disbelieved if they disclose their abuse. The social stigma associated with IPV, especially in cultures that value marital harmony or uphold the sanctity of family, can be powerful deterrents to disclosure (Ahmed, 2004). Victim-blaming attitudes, such as questioning what the woman did to provoke violence, further deter women from acknowledging or reporting abuse.

This fear is compounded by shame. Brown (2011) emphasises that shame is a self-conscious emotion rooted in the perception of failing to meet societal expectations. Women may feel ashamed that they are unable to maintain the image of a successful relationship or that they have allowed the abuse to happen. As a result, downplaying the abuse becomes a psychological coping mechanism to maintain dignity and avoid social judgement.

Trauma, Psychological Defence Mechanisms, and Denial

Trauma theory offers further insight into why women might downplay IPV. Prolonged exposure to violence can cause victims to develop coping mechanisms such as denial, dissociation, and minimisation to protect themselves from psychological distress (Herman, 1992). In this context, acting as if nothing really happened may not be a conscious choice but a survival strategy.

Moreover, repeated cycles of abuse can create a distorted sense of normalcy. The "cycle of abuse" model (Walker, 1979) describes how intermittent periods of calm and affection between violent episodes can confuse victims and lead them to rationalise or minimise abusive incidents. This dynamic reinforces attachment to the abuser and complicates recognition of the abuse as unacceptable or dangerous.

Economic Dependence and Structural Inequalities

Economic factors also influence why women downplay IPV. Financial dependence on an abusive partner can make acknowledging abuse a risk to one`s survival. For women with children, the stakes are even higher, as they may fear losing their home or being unable to provide for their family if they leave the abuser (Radford et al., 2000).

Structural inequalities, such as limited access to housing, employment, or legal protection, exacerbate this dependency. Women from marginalised groups, including immigrants, disabled women, or those with insecure immigration status, face additional barriers that make disclosure particularly risky and downplaying abuse more likely (Thiara and Gill, 2010).